and now it is wednesday

and my taxes are still not to sue. i PROMISE to get them together tomorrow - or friday at the latest. or something like that. all i need is enough time to find my last year planner - that is ALL i need - to finalize the stupid medical info. it can be done. at least i think so...

meanwhile - to all family reading this - i appeal to the best in all of you - when you have a free minute (probably a couple of minutes) - call bud. he is really struggling right now - and just a 'hello and what have you been up' to would help him. yes he can be hard to talk to sometime, and the stories may be repetitive (as are mine because my mind is fading away and so is my memory), but it really might help him a little. he needs something - and yes, a swift kick might also be something he needs, but i was hoping for a more positive direction.

we are in a strange stretch right now. the docs have confused me - and given him new meds again - and some have caused odd reactions. the latest trial medicine (given samples) had as one of the side affects - ABNORMAL THINKING - so what were they thinking??? As if he needed THAT!

molly was by tonight - she made a remark that was disconcerting. she said our house and/or bud had that 'sick' and 'old' smell - although this is not a direct quote, it came out as meaning that. and bud IS having new issues - and may be sicker - so ... maybe call ... or if that really is something you can't do, maybe drop him a card or letter. if you can.

monday morning

the beginning of a new week means... inherently, the end of the weekend. for most of us - definitely for me, the weekend is the highlight. DEFINITELY! concentrated time for family!

getting up this morning to head off to work i experienced the familiar monday morning feeling... big sigh followed by the rush of list making, both mental and on paper, itemizing the appointments, meetings, deadlines, obligations, etc. that seem to fall most often during the week. but then i walked out to my van and everything seemed better, lighter, more positive. and all it took was that warmer breeze that signifies to me spring and all the potential it brings. (potential to me means open windows, parks, cooking out, NOT STUCK INSIDE!) SO, for me this monday morning feels better than the previous mondays of our winter. we DO have something to look forward to...

warm breeze, and then the smell of worms. can't have everything.

baby bathtime

bathtime is a family affair for us and we all love it so

i can jump tall building too

i lifted this heavy building off lois lane today and saved her and everyone else

do i have to go

i was having fun. are you sure i have to go home already? look at my face - how can you say no to me anytime?

sunday smiles

nayeli and austin kept me entertained today, but this smile is for my mom, who makes the best faces at me

check my finger

i hurt my finger - can you check my finger please cameron?

saving the day

never doubt the miraculous powers of the super hero cape - and don't these three epitomize the super hero of the day - out to save us all

personality shows

personality abounds in these children. you can tell just by looking at their pictures.

imagination, intensity, humor, stubbornness, excitement, fun-loving, can i say stubborn again?

all traits they have - but most of all they are -again- PERFECT

questions to be answered

i was asked yesterday a very interesting question. well, on the surface it doesn't sound that interesting, but it really is. a colleague asked me if I was happy in my life. i thought it was a silly question, as OF COURSE I am happy in my life! but then more specifics were asked, things such as; are you where you expected to be at this point in your life? have you accomplished your goals? are you fulfilled? are there disappointments? i gave pat and expected responses and then thought a little when by myself. am i where i expected to be at this point in my life? did i accomplish my goals? .... I don't know!

I realized something about myself - and that is that I don't think I ever ACTUALLY set lifetime goals - so how would I know if I am on the right track? Is that bad? does that make me shallow - or my life less than it should be? I don't think so. I never articulated goals to anyone- or even to myself - but I had them. They are just not measurable or material goals - nothing career oriented or life changing. Just happiness goals. And that is enough for me. Am I fulfilled? Without a wonderful career? Yes - even if it is not politically correct to say so -
and are there disappointments? sure - but not overwhelmingly disappointing - just twinges in life. so my pat answer was the right one after all. yes, i am happy in my life

one last set of pics

this family is so photogenic...



it is hard to not want to post every picture that is taken...






these pictures are the visual history of our family...



do you suppose someday we will have descendents that will care about our pictures?

happy at home

reagan contemplates when to make faces and when to focus on serious subjects...

two faces

karyna poses for a classic photo shoot and then goes candid while trying to eat a crayola marker

silly,sassy on sunday

grins like these are priceless...and epitomize the personality of nayeli - who has her impish moods now and then

sunday superhero

from serious to smiling in a short second...and totally austin in both pics. always fun...always interesting...always perfect

superman rules

oh no! that looks like it hurts. my face hurts now too - sympathy pain truly happens. oh my.

i am the good guy - in case you don't recognize me without the full costume showing, i am the original caped wonder boy- superman...but you can't recognize
me when I am dressed as clark kent.
if you are in trouble,
call out help and watch
for me to come
flying your way.

baby's got blue eyes

Happy baby, these pics don't showcase my grins, which i do like to share, but they do show my long lashes and rosebud mouth...that grandma thinks are perfect...

the little sister

Karyna never misses a trick... Notice how closely she pays attention to everything? She is taking everything in - and she is already her OWN person. Another case of the younger sibling (Molly & Nick can testify to this) being a strong personality - not exactly easy to push around.

look at me in my dancin' shoes

No question in my mind but that Nayeli is going to be a fashion trend setter - or professional shopper - she DOES love to shop for shoes

giraffes, birthdays, and family

north carolina in march - mom's birthday - the zoo - the park - cooking out at jon's, the amethyst in austin's backpack, jon and rob in their ninja turtle costumes, one of them prancing rather strangely, emily fishing with austin in a wheelbarrow, reagan playing tag, katie and molly trying to sleep in the van, mom's new place, julie being called girl and rob or jon being called guy, a pretty pink blanket present for reagan, quizzing mom about her life, french toast, sour dough rolls - can i repeat... sour dough rolls.

all in all we had a great time - it was warm, felt like an early spring, we loved to visit with the family and LOVED how they played with the kids. nothing like trying to catch up on everyone. wish everyone could have been there...

mom, scan the pictures for us...

chalk another one up for the miller clan

i find it a lot easier to post pictures of my grandkids or children on this blog than i do to actually put my thoughts out there. and i probably always will. so no deep thoughts - but i certainly do feel lucky this week. that may sound weird considering what we have gone through, but it could have been so much worse. when i first found bud convulsing, with his eyes rolled back and blood pouring out, i was terrified that what i was seeing was hemmorhaging from his brain. i thought the 'big one' - the massive stroke - had hit.

but it hadn't. and although bud is still - and always will be - at risk... he made it through one more time. more meds added to his regime - he needs to watch his pressure closer - he is more unstable and needs his cane - but he is recovering.

the kids were right there with him - family is wonderful. we are lucky - and blessed.

picture perfect

it was quite a trick trying to hold the camera myself to take our picture - but we did it.

i only have eyes for you

can you see me hiding???

funnyfaces run in family

looks like the miller clan all have a penchant for making faces when the camera appears..nick what are you teaching everyone?