i was asked yesterday a very interesting question. well, on the surface it doesn't sound that interesting, but it really is. a colleague asked me if I was happy in my life. i thought it was a silly question, as OF COURSE I am happy in my life! but then more specifics were asked, things such as; are you where you expected to be at this point in your life? have you accomplished your goals? are you fulfilled? are there disappointments? i gave pat and expected responses and then thought a little when by myself. am i where i expected to be at this point in my life? did i accomplish my goals? .... I don't know!
I realized something about myself - and that is that I don't think I ever ACTUALLY set lifetime goals - so how would I know if I am on the right track? Is that bad? does that make me shallow - or my life less than it should be? I don't think so. I never articulated goals to anyone- or even to myself - but I had them. They are just not measurable or material goals - nothing career oriented or life changing. Just happiness goals. And that is enough for me. Am I fulfilled? Without a wonderful career? Yes - even if it is not politically correct to say so -
and are there disappointments? sure - but not overwhelmingly disappointing - just twinges in life. so my pat answer was the right one after all. yes, i am happy in my life
Summer Vacation in Michigan
17 years ago
6 comments:
All that being said, it's never too late to set goals either. Not that you have to articulate them, but you still have a long life ahead of you and a lot of time to accomplish things you haven't yet accomplished. Maybe a return to schooling just for the fun of learning? Maybe aim to visit some place you've never been? Maybe aim to accomplish something on behalf of one of your grandchildren?
There's still a lot of life ahead, and a lot to do. And part of happiness is the 'looking forward to' part of life, not just the 'already happened' part.
A lot of people that set lofty goals - and achieved them - are a lot less happy today than we are.
Jack
i agree with you jack - happiness is not determined by goals or even the attainment of them. a lot of unhappy people achieve goals - but they never learn anything about contentment - which is NOT THE SAME as standing still and not moving forward - i am around people that have difficulty enjoying what they already have - and that lack of contentment is often a negative.
that said- nick has a good point about still having goals - i have considered going back to school (although I feel too rushed lately for that at this time) - and i am certain i would do it for the fun of learning now - but i look forward to many things already - and some of it may be as an observer - some may active - but i don't think I ever am happy only for the 'already happened' part. every day i get up in the morning and look forward to something - even if sometimes that something is visiting a grandchild - or finishing a task at work- or watching gilmore girls with nick- it is a rare morning that SOMETHING is not on my mind - yes i still have an active and working mind - it may not seem like it sometimes, but, yeah, it is there
I think you reached goals you probably never intentionally set, but just happened because you are so great! For example, I think you accomplished the goal of being a wonderful mother, wife, friend and grandmother!
I know exactly what you mean - whenever I hear about someone setting or achieving goals - I'm curious if it is something that everyone 'should' do - I also have not set specific goals.
Maybe we just define things differently - I am utterly content with where I am, and for the most part - who I am. I have no lofty expectation of what I must achieve or do. I am content with what I have and who I have around me. I know that my life has a purpose and whatever it is - will happen.
I think Allison has given you the highest compliment and said it perfectly! You've achieved more goals (for some) than other's will ever strive for. And we're all better people for knowing you.
okay ... my day is now made! thanks al and al
Post a Comment